Tuesday 28 February 2012


Love Marriage
Vs
Arranged Marriage

Marriage is a sacred bond between two souls, relationship in male and female promise to be companions for a life span after tying the nuptial knot. It binds two individuals into a strong relationship with well-defined rights and obligations. It brings significant stability and security in the relationships of human beings, which is otherwise incomplete. Marriage gives rise to families comprising man, woman and children, and thus helps create the basic building block of human society. Marriages fulfill the primal human need for intimacy and emotional nourishment. The partners help each other emotionally and financially, and accept a functional division of responsibilities in the house to make the relationship successful. This is the reason why there is hardly any other human relationship that can match marriage in its scope and depth. Whenever we talk of Indian wedding, we try to associate it with arranged marriages.

Due to the social structure, the concept of arranged marriage is prevalent in the Indian wedding scenario, since ages. On the other hand, love marriage was considered as a taboo among many Indian people, who do not have a modern outlook of life. For them, two people should tie the wedding knot only with the consent of their parents and the blessings of their relatives. Marriages are basically of two types – arranged and those based on mutual attraction between the partners.

Nonetheless, love marriages are prevalent in almost all the societies of India, given the fact that they are still considered inferior to the weddings arranged by many parents in the country. People supporting the concept of love marriage strongly believe that it is very important to know the partner before marrying him/her. On the other hand, people who believe in solemnizing the wedding with the permission of parents and relatives think that arranged marriages are long lasting. In this article, we are going to discuss about love marriage vis-à-vis arranged marriage.


Arranged Marriages

Arranged marriages were once common throughout the world, but today this institution mostly survives in the eastern countries such as India and China. These are formal affairs with the involvement of many other people apart from bride and groom. In this, the latter two are usually total strangers and have not even seen each other before the marriage is arranged.

The decision about the suitability of the partners for each other is a collective decision taken by their relatives such as parents, uncles, aunts and so on. The families hunt for a good match by asking other people, going through matrimonial websites and even giving advertisements in newspapers. Arranged marriages have their own advantages and disadvantages.  


Advantages of arranged marriage


In arranged marriages, the decision whether to tie the knot with a particular individual is taken with the involvement of many people. We see that most of the arranged marriages are successful for some reasons. The biggest benefit is that there is a conscious attempt to match the two families as well as the bride and groom on the parameters of social status, financial strength, background, educational opportunities and similar lifestyle. This is a cool-headed decision that is thought to tremendously increase the likelihood of the marriage succeeding.
Its not always that arranged marriages are successful or love marriage are successful. When it’s an arrange marriage, the parents do support the relationship and they try their best to keep the relationship live as it is their responsibility too. Arranged marriages are good, if you believe in astrology and horoscope. In arranged marriage, the boy and girl will be from the same religion and caste, so they have the life style, food and culture. In arranged marriages, the girl is more protected as the parents care for a girl who married according to their wish.

Disadvantages of Arranged Marriages


In an ideal scenario, the partners have a major say in arranged marriage. They give the final nod as to the choice of their spouse. However, things do not always go like this. All of a sudden you start your life with a person with you have hardly spend any time. You don’t know the person or you may even not like the person if you have got married because your parents and elders decided your marriage. In many arranged marriages, the parents and relatives are often overbearing and try to force their child into a relationship he or she doesn’t agree with. This can be a very difficult situation that may condemn the partners to living lifelong in a marriage that they are not happy with. Some may just live their life it goes believing it’s their fate and their parents are happy, but some break up. Some start their love life after the wedding and really enjoy and are happy.

Love Marriages


Love marriage is a legal right for two individuals who care and love for each other to live together and go ahead with their life. Love marriages are the norm in western countries where individual freedom and aspirations are considered more important than what the society, parents or relatives expect from a person. In love marriages, the onus of choosing a spouse completely rests with the bride and groom.

It is a very personal decision in which nobody can claim the right to get involved. Whether the marriage turns out to be successful or a failure, the partners have no one else to blame. Typically, love marriages occur between childhood or college friends, office colleagues, neighbours and acquaintances.

Advantages of love marriage


In love marriage, you know each other well, you are not going to be with any stranger or you may not have many problems if you know about the person well before you decide to spend your life together. The biggest benefit of love marriages is that they are based on the principle of individual freedom. There is no coercion or pressure involved. These relationships are a result of blood chemistry between two individuals. They meet each other, sparks fly and after a brief period of courtship, they get married. Such marriages have a good chance of success because they arise from mutual attraction. They are not an artificially created union as in an arranged marriage. A love marriage can become un-successful, if you had a very short time know each other and just decided to get married. If you are knowing each other well and you are sure that you can get along with each other without any problems then you can decide to get married. In short the advantage of going for a love marriage is that you are going to live your life with a person who you know well and you are sure that you can get along well.

Disadvantages of love marriage


It’s not easy to go for a love marriage. You need to first fall in love with someone and that person should like you as well. Love marriages are successful only if a person has chosen wisely. It takes time to know each other and both of you should feel comfortable with each other. This is not often the case because many such marriages are not a result of any careful deliberation or insight but raging hormones. As a result, after some years when the novelty wears off, the partners begin to lose interest in each other and try to broaden their horizons with new love interests. Often, there is a mismatch between social status, educational qualifications, financial resources and life’s goals and aspirations of the two individuals, which after some time becomes a cause of friction and eventually leads to divorce.
Decide to get married to a person who loves you more than you love that person. In many cases we see that one person is badly in love with the other person, but not vise versa. Never force somebody to love you and get married, you should give sufficient time to the other person whom you love to know you more and you should take sufficient time to learn your partner well before you both come to a decision to live together.
In our opinion, nobody can be sure that he or she will fall in love with a person and even if he or she falls in love with somebody, that person will fall in love in return. If you don’t fall in love or not get a right person, then you can think of arranged marriages. Even in arranged marriages you can know the person well before you decide to get married. You should make sure that your proposed partner likes you as well and is not agreeing for the wedding because of any pressure from her / his parents or any other reasons.
Marriages and Divorce Rate


In India divorce rate is very low 1 out of 1,000 marriage end up with divorce. This is very low as compared to countries like U.S. where divorce rate is more than 50%. There are many reasons why Indian marriages are very stable. There is a widely held view that arranged marriages lead to a much lower divorce rate compared to love marriages. This is because historically, the divorce rate has been extremely low in societies where arranged marriages have been the norm. In contrast, western societies where love marriages prevail are now witnessing a divorce rate that is as high as 50 percent. 
Arrange Marriage:-- Most of marriages in India are arrange as compared to love marriage. Arrange marriage is more stable then love marriage. Probable reason because family pressure in arrange marriage to resolve any dispute. If any dispute happens between husband and wife then both family seniors sit and talk. This is big reason for so, called stable family relationship for divorce in India. These arrange marriage is good to raise their children as compared to other countries. Where peoples marry in morning and divorce in evening like changing their clothes.
Another reason why there is less divorce in arranged marriages is that people entering arranged marriages want to marry, are ready to marry. This factor should never be underestimated in the success of a marriage as people who want marriage are more likely to work at it.
Love Marriage:-- In past few decades, love marriage increased a lot in urban India. Hence divorce rate also increased in India. Most love marriages are unsuccessful in India. Not in India everywhere in the world. Most probable reason because love marriage in India. If any dispute and ego clash happen then nobody is responsible for solving the problem. In arrange marriage parents are responsible for marriage so, they control the situation but love marriage is decision of two individual not parents.
Overall there are no rules and it’s best to keep an open mind about both kinds of unions. It does seem impossible to say whether arranged marriages are happier or love marriages. Perhaps if people in the west start taking to arranged marriages in a big way then we might find out whether arranged matches make for longer lasting unions because it will be easier to compare arranged marriages with love marriages. To make a sensible comparison one needs plenty of people from a society which accepts divorcees and a society where there is some measure of gender equality.

Love Marriage or Arrange Marriage, whatever may be, adjustment is the only solution for the problems in life. So the Big secret of a successful married life is adjusting, caring, understanding and loving each other.

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