Women Proposes to their Men on Leap Day

What is a Leap Day ?


Leap Day is February 29, which is an extra (intercalary) day added during a Leap Year, making the year 366 days long – and not 365 days, like a common (normal) year. Nearly every 4 years is a Leap Year in our modern Gregorian Calendar.


Tradition

According to an old Irish legend, or possibly history, St Bridget struck a deal with St Patrick to allow women to propose to men – and not just the other way around – every 4 years. This is believed to have been introduced to balance the traditional roles of men and women in a similar way to how Leap Day balances the calendar.

In some places, Leap Day has been known as “Bachelors’ Day” for the same reason. A man was expected to pay a penalty, such as a gown or money, if he refused a marriage proposal from a woman on Leap Day. In many European countries, especially in the upper classes of society, tradition dictates that any man who refuses a woman's proposal on February 29 has to buy her 12 pairs of gloves. The intention is that the woman can wear the gloves to hide the embarrassment of not having an engagement ring. During the middle ages there were laws governing this tradition.

Love Marriage

Vs

Arranged Marriage

Marriage is a sacred bond between two souls, relationship in male and female promise to be companions for a life span after tying the nuptial knot. It binds two individuals into a strong relationship with well-defined rights and obligations. It brings significant stability and security in the relationships of human beings, which is otherwise incomplete. Marriage gives rise to families comprising man, woman and children, and thus helps create the basic building block of human society. Marriages fulfill the primal human need for intimacy and emotional nourishment. The partners help each other emotionally and financially, and accept a functional division of responsibilities in the house to make the relationship successful. This is the reason why there is hardly any other human relationship that can match marriage in its scope and depth. Whenever we talk of Indian wedding, we try to associate it with arranged marriages.

Due to the social structure, the concept of arranged marriage is prevalent in the Indian wedding scenario, since ages. On the other hand, love marriage was considered as a taboo among many Indian people, who do not have a modern outlook of life. For them, two people should tie the wedding knot only with the consent of their parents and the blessings of their relatives. Marriages are basically of two types – arranged and those based on mutual attraction between the partners.

Nonetheless, love marriages are prevalent in almost all the societies of India, given the fact that they are still considered inferior to the weddings arranged by many parents in the country. People supporting the concept of love marriage strongly believe that it is very important to know the partner before marrying him/her. On the other hand, people who believe in solemnizing the wedding with the permission of parents and relatives think that arranged marriages are long lasting. In this article, we are going to discuss about love marriage vis-à-vis arranged marriage.

Arranged Marriages

Arranged marriages were once common throughout the world, but today this institution mostly survives in the eastern countries such as India and China. These are formal affairs with the involvement of many other people apart from bride and groom. In this, the latter two are usually total strangers and have not even seen each other before the marriage is arranged.

The decision about the suitability of the partners for each other is a collective decision taken by their relatives such as parents, uncles, aunts and so on. The families hunt for a good match by asking other people, going through matrimonial websites and even giving advertisements in newspapers. Arranged marriages have their own advantages and disadvantages.  

Advantages of arranged marriage

In arranged marriages, the decision whether to tie the knot with a particular individual is taken with the involvement of many people. We see that most of the arranged marriages are successful for some reasons. The biggest benefit is that there is a conscious attempt to match the two families as well as the bride and groom on the parameters of social status, financial strength, background, educational opportunities and similar lifestyle. This is a cool-headed decision that is thought to tremendously increase the likelihood of the marriage succeeding.
Its not always that arranged marriages are successful or love marriage are successful. When it’s an arrange marriage, the parents do support the relationship and they try their best to keep the relationship live as it is their responsibility too. Arranged marriages are good, if you believe in astrology and horoscope. In arranged marriage, the boy and girl will be from the same religion and caste, so they have the life style, food and culture. In arranged marriages, the girl is more protected as the parents care for a girl who married according to their wish.

Disadvantages of Arranged Marriages

In an ideal scenario, the partners have a major say in arranged marriage. They give the final nod as to the choice of their spouse. However, things do not always go like this. All of a sudden you start your life with a person with you have hardly spend any time. You don’t know the person or you may even not like the person if you have got married because your parents and elders decided your marriage. In many arranged marriages, the parents and relatives are often overbearing and try to force their child into a relationship he or she doesn’t agree with. This can be a very difficult situation that may condemn the partners to living lifelong in a marriage that they are not happy with. Some may just live their life it goes believing it’s their fate and their parents are happy, but some break up. Some start their love life after the wedding and really enjoy and are happy.

Love Marriages

Love marriage is a legal right for two individuals who care and love for each other to live together and go ahead with their life. Love marriages are the norm in western countries where individual freedom and aspirations are considered more important than what the society, parents or relatives expect from a person. In love marriages, the onus of choosing a spouse completely rests with the bride and groom.

It is a very personal decision in which nobody can claim the right to get involved. Whether the marriage turns out to be successful or a failure, the partners have no one else to blame. Typically, love marriages occur between childhood or college friends, office colleagues, neighbours and acquaintances.

Advantages of love marriage

In love marriage, you know each other well, you are not going to be with any stranger or you may not have many problems if you know about the person well before you decide to spend your life together. The biggest benefit of love marriages is that they are based on the principle of individual freedom. There is no coercion or pressure involved. These relationships are a result of blood chemistry between two individuals. They meet each other, sparks fly and after a brief period of courtship, they get married. Such marriages have a good chance of success because they arise from mutual attraction. They are not an artificially created union as in an arranged marriage. A love marriage can become un-successful, if you had a very short time know each other and just decided to get married. If you are knowing each other well and you are sure that you can get along with each other without any problems then you can decide to get married. In short the advantage of going for a love marriage is that you are going to live your life with a person who you know well and you are sure that you can get along well.

Disadvantages of love marriage

It’s not easy to go for a love marriage. You need to first fall in love with someone and that person should like you as well. Love marriages are successful only if a person has chosen wisely. It takes time to know each other and both of you should feel comfortable with each other. This is not often the case because many such marriages are not a result of any careful deliberation or insight but raging hormones. As a result, after some years when the novelty wears off, the partners begin to lose interest in each other and try to broaden their horizons with new love interests. Often, there is a mismatch between social status, educational qualifications, financial resources and life’s goals and aspirations of the two individuals, which after some time becomes a cause of friction and eventually leads to divorce.

Decide to get married to a person who loves you more than you love that person. In many cases we see that one person is badly in love with the other person, but not vise versa. Never force somebody to love you and get married, you should give sufficient time to the other person whom you love to know you more and you should take sufficient time to learn your partner well before you both come to a decision to live together.

In our opinion, nobody can be sure that he or she will fall in love with a person and even if he or she falls in love with somebody, that person will fall in love in return. If you don’t fall in love or not get a right person, then you can think of arranged marriages. Even in arranged marriages you can know the person well before you decide to get married. You should make sure that your proposed partner likes you as well and is not agreeing for the wedding because of any pressure from her / his parents or any other reasons.

Marriages and Divorce Rate

In India divorce rate is very low 1 out of 1,000 marriage end up with divorce. This is very low as compared to countries like U.S. where divorce rate is more than 50%. There are many reasons why Indian marriages are very stable. There is a widely held view that arranged marriages lead to a much lower divorce rate compared to love marriages. This is because historically, the divorce rate has been extremely low in societies where arranged marriages have been the norm. In contrast, western societies where love marriages prevail are now witnessing a divorce rate that is as high as 50 percent. 

Arrange Marriage:-- Most of marriages in India are arrange as compared to love marriage. Arrange marriage is more stable then love marriage. Probable reason because family pressure in arrange marriage to resolve any dispute. If any dispute happens between husband and wife then both family seniors sit and talk. This is big reason for so, called stable family relationship for divorce in India. These arrange marriage is good to raise their children as compared to other countries. Where peoples marry in morning and divorce in evening like changing their clothes.

Another reason why there is less divorce in arranged marriages is that people entering arranged marriages want to marry, are ready to marry. This factor should never be underestimated in the success of a marriage as people who want marriage are more likely to work at it.

Love Marriage:-- In past few decades, love marriage increased a lot in urban India. Hence divorce rate also increased in India. Most love marriages are unsuccessful in India. Not in India everywhere in the world. Most probable reason because love marriage in India. If any dispute and ego clash happen then nobody is responsible for solving the problem. In arrange marriage parents are responsible for marriage so, they control the situation but love marriage is decision of two individual not parents.

Overall there are no rules and it’s best to keep an open mind about both kinds of unions. It does seem impossible to say whether arranged marriages are happier or love marriages. Perhaps if people in the west start taking to arranged marriages in a big way then we might find out whether arranged matches make for longer lasting unions because it will be easier to compare arranged marriages with love marriages. To make a sensible comparison one needs plenty of people from a society which accepts divorcees and a society where there is some measure of gender equality.

Love Marriage or Arrange Marriage, whatever may be, adjustment is the only solution for the problems in life. So the Big secret of a successful married life is adjusting, caring, understanding and loving each other.

Registration of Marriage in India

In India, a religious marriage ceremony is considered a legal marriage. However registration of marriage is now a legal requirement in most of the states in India. There are different rules and regulations for different religions. For example there are Hindu Marriage Act, Muslim Marriage Act, and Christian Marriage Act and for the Parsee there is Parsee Marriage and Divorce Act. 

In most of the countries registration of marriage is mandatory. Due to lack of awareness most of the Indian married couples do not get themselves registered. Such couples often face difficulties in future.

What is a Marriage Certificate:--A Marriage Certificate is the proof of registration of a marriage. Marriage Registration Certificate is issued to both Husband and Wife whose marriage has already been solemnized.

Role:--Marriage registration is an important part of the marriage system of today. To prove your marriage legal, you need to have marriage registration certificate. If you are in favour of registered marriage instead of social marriage, then it is necessary to go for a marriage registrar.

How can you register your Marriage OR Marriage Legalities:--It is necessary to keep in mind that as a rule all marriages have to be compulsorily registered. In India, a marriage can be registered under either of the two Marriage Acts: the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 or the Special Marriage Act, 1954. The Hindu Marriage Act is applicable only to the Hindus, whereas the Special Marriage Act is applicable to all citizens of India.

Under the Hindu Marriage Act:

Parties to the marriage have to apply to the Registrar in whose jurisdiction the marriage is solemnized or to the Registrar in whose jurisdiction either party to the marriage has been residing at least for six months immediately preceding the date of marriage. Both the parties have to appear before the Registrar along with their parents or guardians or other witnesses within one month from the date of marriage. There is a provision for condonation of delay up to 5 years, by the Registrar, and thereafter by the District Registrar concerned.

Under the Special Marriage Act:

The parties to the intended marriage have to give a notice to the Marriage Officer in whose jurisdiction at least one of the parties has resided for not less than 30 days prior to the date of notice. It should be affixed at some conspicuous place in his office. If either of the parties is residing in the area of another Marriage Officer, a copy of the notice should be sent to him for similar publication. The marriage may be solemnized after the expiry of one month from the date of publication of the notice, if no objections are received. If any objections are received, the Marriage Officer has to enquire into them and take a decision either to solemnize the marriage or to refuse it. Registration will be done after solemnization of the marriage.

Any marriage already celebrated can also be registered under the Special Marriage Act after giving a public notice of 30 days, subject to conditions.

To be eligible for marriage, the minimum age limit is 21 for males and 18 for females. The parties to a Hindu marriage should be unmarried or divorced, or if previously married, the spouse by that marriage should not be alive. In addition, the parties should be physically and mentally healthy and must not be related in a way prohibited by the law.

Importance of Marriage Certificate: --
Marriage Certificate is very important document and one must apply for Marriage Certificate immediately after getting married. You only get your Marriage Certificate in the Country, State and City that you reside in during the date that you were married.

1. It is a Certificate stating that your Marriage is registered.

2. It is Legal Document.

3. Moreover, for visa and immigration purposes a formal marriage certificate from the Registrar of Marriages is required.

Certain Advantages for the compulsory registration of marriages:--The certificate is a Government document, which provides valuable evidence of marriage.

a) It is useful while accompanying wife/husband to foreign country.

b) If a person dies without nomination for bank deposit or life insurance policy, it will be useful to get such money in the name of husband/wife.

c)Registration would prevent child marriages and thereby prevent sale of girls and trafficking. 

d)Registrar will verify whether the marriage had in fact taken place in accordance with the personal law applicable to the spouses. He will specifically mention, in a special column, the presence of the spouses before issuance of marriage certificate. 

From where can you obtain Marriage Certificate :-- You can approach to the O/o the ADM of your ares or you can also approach to the concerned O/o the Deputy Commissioner during 10:00 AM to 1:00 PM on any working day. You can also Apply Online.

However, the non-registration of a marriage does not affect its legality and validity. Couples who do not register their marriages can be fined and any one giving false information to the authorities can be penalized with a short jail term. Even then it is always advisable to register a religious/ceremonial marriage because there is then proof of its legality and validity.

In matrimonial disputes it is not uncommon for one of the spouses to claim that no valid marriage took place. Religious authorities that solemnize marriages rarely maintain proper records. Once a marriage is registered with the authorities there is an assumption in law that a valid marriage took place.

Christian Wedding Rituals

God has always considered marriage to be one of the most significant unions between people and believed to be made in heaven. Christian marriages are the most simple and elegant wedding ceremonies among all the other religions. White is the prevailing color in Christian marriages as it stands for chastity and purity.

Christian weddings are supposed to be held in the midst of all. Even the Bible describes a marriage as ordained by God and an occasion for joy. Different sects in Christianity have different views on marriage. They prescribe different conditions for couples to get married or not. They have different rules for when a person should get married and what must the motivation be. 

Like other Indian religious weddings, Indian Christian wedding too is a great occasion. It is spread for many days. The wedding parties should be ready in time, for the ceremony by properly dressing.

Traditionally the bride is dressed in a white gown with a veil and a bunch of white flowers, while the groom is attired in conservative suit. The white wedding dress has a two-fold significance. It is a symbol of the wife's purity in heart and life, and in reverence to God. It's also a picture of the righteousness of Christ.

The most honoured guests of the ceremony are the parents, the grandparents and the guardians of the couple. The candles are lit and the band plays the welcome music, while all the relatives and guests are arriving and being seated. Songs and music forms an integral part of Christian marriages. Christian wedding songs are played when the ceremony of marriage is in process. Classic piano or violin is used to form a soothing atmosphere.

Seating of the Family on Opposite Sides of the Church

Family and friends of the bride and groom are seated on opposite sides of the church. In a traditional Christian ceremony, the bride’s family sits on the left side of the church, the groom’s family on the right.

Welcoming the Bride

The ceremony of welcoming the bride is conducted on the day of a Christian wedding. Groom sends a car to pick up the bride and waits for her outside the church. Following the tradition, when the bride arrives, the Best Man welcomes her with a kiss on either cheek and hands her a bouquet of flowers. Following this ritual, the couple walks down the aisle slowly and gracefully accompanied by the wedding procession. Inside the church, the couple walks up to the place where the priest stands for the wedding mass. The priest then welcomes them and offers his best wishes.

Joining Right Hands

In a wedding, as the bride and groom face one another to say their vows, they join right hands and publicly commit everything they are, and everything they possess, in a covenant relationship. They leave their families, forsake all others, and become one with their spouse.

Homily

Then the procession of reading psalms from the Holy Bible is done by the priest and the priest then delivers a sermon called Homily, which emphasizes the sanctity of the wedlock.

Nuptials

The priest asks the couple some customary questions which both of them have to answer in compliance. The priest then seeks their consent for the marriage.

Promise

The bride and the groom then make the Solemn Promise to each other, saying that they will
stay together forever in good and bad times.

Exchanging of the Rings

It is traditional for a couple to exchange wedding rings after they say their vows. Since these rings are symbols of the marriage, the words said during a ring exchange should reflect the couple's hopes for their marriage. Therefore, when the couple wears a wedding ring, they demonstrate their submission to God's authority over their marriage.

A ring was used as a seal of authority. When pressed into hot wax, the impression of the ring left an official seal on legal documents.

When the couple exchanges wedding rings, it symbolizes the giving of all their resources—their wealth, possessions, talents, and emotions—to the other in marriage.

Pronouncement of Husband and Wife

The priest then pronounces that the bride and groom are now husband and wife and the ceremony comes to an end. This moment establishes the exact beginning of their covenant. The two are now one in the eyes of God. The couple chants a thanksgiving prayer to the God. The priest gives the final blessing to the couple and the invitees shower their blessings on the newlywed couple.

Presentation of the Couple

When the priest introduces the couple to the wedding guests, he is drawing attention to their new identity and the name change brought about through the marriage. Similarly, in the blood covenant, the two parties would exchange some part of their names.

The registration 

The couple and the priest sign the church register, which is a documentary evidence of the church wedding, on the given date and time. A copy of the signed document is forwarded to the Registrar of Marriages.

The departure

 The bride and the groom walk out of the church, followed by the guests.

The Reception

This is a celebration party of the wedding. The guests drink and dance on the music of a live band. The wedding cake is then cut by the couple and a love bite is exchanged. The cake is then distributed amongst the guests.

Dance

The wedding couple then enters the dance floor, followed by the parents and all the guests couples. The delicious dinner is then served and the bride and groom say bye to all.

Sikh Wedding Rituals

Sikhism is a monotheistic religion opposed to idol worship and is against the practice of asceticism, the caste system and ritualism. 

A Sikh wedding is called an Anand Karaj. The ceremony takes place in the presence of the Sikh Holy Book, the Guru Granth Sahib Ji. 

Although there may be some minor differences in the regional customs leading up to the religious ceremony and following the ceremony, there is very little variance in the actual Anand Karaj ceremony in the Gurdwara. 

Rituals at the Bride’s home-

Chuda

On the wedding day the rituals at the girl’s home begin with the Chuda ceremony. To commemorate the Chuda ceremony, a havan or puja is conducted by the pandit. Thereafter, the pundit ties a mauli on the to be bride’s wrist. The oldest maternal uncle and aunt play an important role in the performance of the ceremony. They fast till the event is completed. Chuda is basically a set of red and cream ivory bangles that is touched by all present. People touch the chuda and give their heartiest wishes to the girl for her future married life. Also, they sprinkle flower petals on the bride. Prasad is distributed to all. After that, the girl’s uncle, aunt, friends and cousins tie kaliras (silver, gold or gold plated traditional ornaments) to a bangle worn by the girl.

Vatna

Four lamps or diyas are lit and the bride is made to sit facing them. Oil is constantly poured into the lamps, so that the glow from diyas is reflected on her face. Vatna involves applying the paste made from turmeric powder and mustard oil all over the girl’s body by her female friends and relatives. This is done to make the girl look more beautiful on the special day of our life.

Ghara Ghardoli

The Ghara Ghardoli follows the Vatna. In the Ghara Ghardoli ritual, the bride’s sibling or sibling’s spouse visits the nearby temple and fills a pitcher with holy water. The girl is then bathed with this holy water. Thereafter, the bride wears their wedding attire. The ghara ghardoli and the vatna ceremonies take place at the groom’s house too. But over there, the boy’s sister-in-law brings the pitcher of water. As per the tradition, their wedding dress is presented to them by their respective maternal uncles.

Rituals at the Groom’s home

Sehrabandi

Like the bride’s home, the Vatna and Ghara Ghardoli are followed by the dressing up of groom in his wedding attire. After the groom has dressed up in his wedding clothes, a pooja is performed. The boy wears a pink color turban. Thereafter, the groom’s father or any elderly relative ties the "sehra" on the groom’s head. It is the ceremony of tying of the traditional headdress on the groom. The 'sehra' or veil of golden threads is taken around to each member of the family to be blessed, which is touched by all the people present in the pooja. The 'sarbala' (a young boy, usually a nephew of the groom) will act as his constant companion and be with him until the wedding ceremony is over.  After the completion of Sehrabandi ceremony, all those who witness the function give gifts and cash to the boy as a token of good luck.

The women sing 'seheras' or traditional songs appropriate to the ceremony. The groom is now ready to proceed to the bride's home for the wedding ceremony.

Ghodi Chadna

The Ghori Chadna is the final ceremony at the groom’s place. The groom's brother's wife applies a touch of 'kajal' (kohl) to the groom's eyes to ward off the evil eye and his sisters and female cousins braid the bridle with 'vagaan' (golden tassels) for which they receive gifts from the groom's mother.
Thereafter, the groom’s sisters and cousins feed and adorn his mare. To ward off the evil eye, people use cash and perform the Varna ritual. After that the boy climbs the horse and immediately leaves his home for the wedding venue.

Departure of the Baraat

Close family and friends are invited to the house to depart together for the Gurdwara singing traditional wedding song. Everyone receives tea and snacks before departing. Keeping an old Sikh tradition alive the groom has arranged to arrive by horseback for the meeting of the families.

Rituals at the Marriage Venue

Milni Ceremony 

When the groom’s barat reaches the wedding venue, Milni ceremony is performed. The bride’s close relatives give a warm welcome to the groom and his relatives with flower garlands. Rose water is sprinkled on them. In the Milni ceremony, the girl's relatives give Shagun (a token of good luck) to the groom's close relatives. It is done in the descending order, beginning from the elder most. Cash and clothes are gifted.

Performing Ardas

Ardas is the common Sikh prayer and is invoked at the start and conclusion of every Sikh event. Here both families perform Ardas on their meeting each other.

Ragis perform kirtan (the singing of hymns from Sri Guru Granth Sahib) as people begin to enter the Gurdwara for the beginning of the ceremony. This is when the bride makes here first public appearance of the day. Men and women sit on opposite sides of the Gurdwara hall at equal distances from Sri Guru Granth Sahib. Non Sikh male and female visitors and guests can usually sit together if they wish.

Ananad Karaj or Lavan Phere (The Actual Wedding Cermony)

The 'Anand Karaj' or wedding ritual takes place at 'anand vela' (early morning, usually associated with peace and tranquility). In case the ceremony begins a little later, it must conclude before noon. In the presence of the Guru Granth Sahib, a normal Morning Prayer service is conducted, after which the 'Asa di Vaar' (the morning hymn) is sung.

The bride, face covered, is escorted in by her father or uncle, her sisters and girlfriends and seated on the left of the groom.

Since the Sikhs do not have an ordained clergy, a respected member of the community or gurudwara may conduct the ceremony. The officiator of the ceremony asks the bride, groom and their parents to stand for the 'Ardaas', after which they all bow down to the Holy Book in assent of the marriage.

The bride's father places a corner of the bride's veil or 'pallav' in the groom's hands and over his shoulder into the bride's hands, symbolically connecting them and giving his daughter away in marriage. The groom then leads the bride four times around the Holy Book, each round interspersed with hymns containing blessings and advice.

Conclusion of the Religious Function

After the Lavan the Anand hymn by Guru Amar Das is recited. This is followed by lectures and kirtan. The religious ceremony is formally concluded by the entire congregation standing for the final Ardas of the marriage. After this Sri Guru Granth Sahib is now opened to any page at random and the hymn is read out as the days order from the Guru for the occasion (hukamnama). Karah Prashad, ceremonial sacremental pudding is then distributed to everyone to mark the formal conclusion of the ceremony.

Well Wishes from All

When all these rituals are over, the couple gets up to touch the feet of all the elder members in the family and seek their blessings for a happily married life.

Both parents now congratulate the couple. In many cases guests now follow to present the couple with gifts of a cash offering in their lap. In this wedding the couple declined these as they said they had received the ultimate gift, the blessing of the Guru. Everyone then leaves for the dining hall to sit on the floor in langer (the community kitchen) and enjoy a meal in the spirit of equality and humility.

Aftermath

After the official religious ceremony concluded the couple ate in the langer hall and chatted with friends and family. They later went to a park to have some photographs taken and then journeyed to the bride’s home.

Doli (The bride send-off ceremony)

The groom lifts the bride's veil and seeing her as a married woman for the first time her family blesses her with money. She changes into a set of clothes and jewellery brought by the groom's parents. She feeds the male members of her own family with cooked rice and turning her back on them throws back handfuls of puffed rice, invoking a blessing of prosperity on her father and family. She then bids a tearful farewell to her family and friends - a very emotional moment in any Indian wedding.

Her father seats her in the decorated car alongside her husband and her brother escorts her to her new home. On reaching the marital home, the groom's mother, who pours a little oil outside on the doorstep before they enter, receives the couple. She then attempts to drink water from a 'lota' (steel jar), but the groom prevents her! After the third attempt he relents and she drinks it. This is repeated with six other female relatives.

Doli Dinner

Celebration of the bride's arrival into the groom's family. The groom's family and close friends get together the night the bride arrives for the 'doli' dinner. Literally translated 'doli' means palanquin. As a courtesy, they may invite the bride's family and her guests who have come from out of town. This may be a very quiet evening with a home-cooked meal, or a full-fledged celebration with caterers called in and exuberant singing and dancing.